I’ve quietly read many of your posts and I wish I could summarize ideas relating to linguistics as well as you do. I think you are very good at what you do and you have become a bit of an inspiration for me as I am one year in to an EdD with a linguistics component. I feel old at 42 embarking on this journey and I relate to many of your thoughts shared here.
“What I wish more people understood is that writing , good writing, honest writing, costs something. It takes commitment. Not just to the topic, but to the process. To show up. To wrestle with ideas. To revise. To feel like a fraud. And to keep going anyway.”
Thanks you so much! I went back to uni and got my degree at 62! So do not worry about age! It's an asset. You 've acquired coping mechanisms and skills not yet available to younger students... but the struggle is still real!. Keep going and most of all, enjoy!
This was amazing. You are an incredible writer. I resonated with every sentence—not that I’m saying I’m even one tenth of what you are academically. But I deeply connected with the doubt. The insecurity. The inner critic.
The only part I didn’t like was when you said this doesn’t go away with age. Damn, I was counting on it.
I like how you are able to explain Derrida, Foucault, and Chomsky, Wittgenstein, and other linguists. Their essence, so I can go off and build on it.
Also, I’m reading Camus’ Myth of Sisyphus—which, as you might know, talks about the absurd. He obviously says a lot about it—but what comes to mind in this context is how the very absurdity (in this case as you describe writing) can be a source of weakness or strength. Why? Because when we engage in this absurdity, what we do it’s because we will it, in a way embracing that absurdity. (Pardon me, as I’m paraphrasing, however, that’s the idea).
Last, I really like your ritual—I’m one who works haphazardly, project based (and by project I mean the absurd writing of fiction much as you describe it) and only wished I had that type of rhythmic daily discipline, I hope you enjoy it.
I like the way you’re thinking about Camus and the absurd! You’re absolutely right that engaging with absurdity requires an act of will. Camus would call this a form of rebellion, choosing to live despite the lack of inherent meaning. However, I wonder if absurdity itself is the source of strength or weakness, or if it’s rather our response to it that determines our existential stance. Camus seems to suggest that strength comes from the refusal to seek false meaning and the courage to live fully despite the absurd.
Are you going to go through the entire cycle (absurd, revolt, love)?
I am young and I am inexperienced; I can't claim to have written long or written much. And yet, like you, I feel drawn towards writing—even if, every time, it is a long and painful wrestle. Though perhaps it is not in spite of, but because of the wrestle that I am drawn. Sometimes, at the end of that wrestle, I get this sense that there is something I've won, and sometimes, looking back, at my journey as a writer and an aspiring academic—short it may be—I can see that there has been growth and accomplishment, and it drives me forward to take new and bigger challenges. I'm glad you choose to write and to wrestle with ideas, in spite of the doubt and the difficulty. I have enjoyed what you've published, and I've no doubt others have too.
Also, something in your post sparked a question. You said you wake up quite early and sleep quite late, and you seemed to imply that you spend almost all of your waking hours doing something related to your work (correct me if I'm misunderstanding). One thing I've struggled with is grasping what the limits are: How much can one read, write, work in a day? What are the limits? How hard should I push myself? These are largely personal, I imagine, but sometimes hearing from others can help me make sense of myself. So my actual questions are: How much do you actually work? How are you able to do so much? How do you function with so little sleep?
There is no age when wanting to write becomes a strong feeling. I suppose the younger the start, the longer you have to find a voice, a style and refine your writing skills. You have already experienced it since you say you have seen growth and accomplishment. I am not a novel or poetry writer. I like academic writing. I provides a clear framework... language may need simplifying though!!
My day is divided between writing, working 8 hours a day, spending time with my cat... and my husband, and, most importantly, with myself. But it's flexible, of course. Your development is not a competition with others. Your achievements are your own. If they happen to contribute something to others, it's a bonus! I sleep vey little becasue I always have, but if you need 8 hours to function, make sure you get your 8 hours. Pushing yourself of course, but not at the detriment of your health and well being. Food, sleep and fun are needed! Push yourself through your choice of reading/research, getting a bit more challenging each time. It's really the quality that matters. I think if you commit to your reading, your research, remove distractions (no phone, no TV or radio) that is one way to achieve quality.
If you are meant to write, you will write. Being a writer is not just publishing books. Substack or Medium are proof that you can write and reach people. There are communities of SMS novel or poetry.
I would just say: keep doing what you are doing, a bit better every day, and enjoy either the process or the outcome .. or both.
It is always worth it, even when one wants to walk away from it or take a break. The rewrites, the headaches—I imagine this is exactly what other artists feel about their art, and that is when I understand in lucidity. You are an artist, and everything you write has much more value than you, the most powerful critic of yourself, can see.
Just started writing on substack. I feel the same way. I was very hesitant and low on confidence. I know my knowledge is very limited. But something draws me to writing. Your post gives me a much needed boost and self confidence. Thank you.
I’ve quietly read many of your posts and I wish I could summarize ideas relating to linguistics as well as you do. I think you are very good at what you do and you have become a bit of an inspiration for me as I am one year in to an EdD with a linguistics component. I feel old at 42 embarking on this journey and I relate to many of your thoughts shared here.
“What I wish more people understood is that writing , good writing, honest writing, costs something. It takes commitment. Not just to the topic, but to the process. To show up. To wrestle with ideas. To revise. To feel like a fraud. And to keep going anyway.”
Thanks you so much! I went back to uni and got my degree at 62! So do not worry about age! It's an asset. You 've acquired coping mechanisms and skills not yet available to younger students... but the struggle is still real!. Keep going and most of all, enjoy!
Again, thanks for such an amazing comment
This was amazing. You are an incredible writer. I resonated with every sentence—not that I’m saying I’m even one tenth of what you are academically. But I deeply connected with the doubt. The insecurity. The inner critic.
The only part I didn’t like was when you said this doesn’t go away with age. Damn, I was counting on it.
You had me with "when it's just me and the cat". Cats are inspirational
I like how you are able to explain Derrida, Foucault, and Chomsky, Wittgenstein, and other linguists. Their essence, so I can go off and build on it.
Also, I’m reading Camus’ Myth of Sisyphus—which, as you might know, talks about the absurd. He obviously says a lot about it—but what comes to mind in this context is how the very absurdity (in this case as you describe writing) can be a source of weakness or strength. Why? Because when we engage in this absurdity, what we do it’s because we will it, in a way embracing that absurdity. (Pardon me, as I’m paraphrasing, however, that’s the idea).
Last, I really like your ritual—I’m one who works haphazardly, project based (and by project I mean the absurd writing of fiction much as you describe it) and only wished I had that type of rhythmic daily discipline, I hope you enjoy it.
Thanks for sharing!
I like the way you’re thinking about Camus and the absurd! You’re absolutely right that engaging with absurdity requires an act of will. Camus would call this a form of rebellion, choosing to live despite the lack of inherent meaning. However, I wonder if absurdity itself is the source of strength or weakness, or if it’s rather our response to it that determines our existential stance. Camus seems to suggest that strength comes from the refusal to seek false meaning and the courage to live fully despite the absurd.
Are you going to go through the entire cycle (absurd, revolt, love)?
I am young and I am inexperienced; I can't claim to have written long or written much. And yet, like you, I feel drawn towards writing—even if, every time, it is a long and painful wrestle. Though perhaps it is not in spite of, but because of the wrestle that I am drawn. Sometimes, at the end of that wrestle, I get this sense that there is something I've won, and sometimes, looking back, at my journey as a writer and an aspiring academic—short it may be—I can see that there has been growth and accomplishment, and it drives me forward to take new and bigger challenges. I'm glad you choose to write and to wrestle with ideas, in spite of the doubt and the difficulty. I have enjoyed what you've published, and I've no doubt others have too.
Also, something in your post sparked a question. You said you wake up quite early and sleep quite late, and you seemed to imply that you spend almost all of your waking hours doing something related to your work (correct me if I'm misunderstanding). One thing I've struggled with is grasping what the limits are: How much can one read, write, work in a day? What are the limits? How hard should I push myself? These are largely personal, I imagine, but sometimes hearing from others can help me make sense of myself. So my actual questions are: How much do you actually work? How are you able to do so much? How do you function with so little sleep?
There is no age when wanting to write becomes a strong feeling. I suppose the younger the start, the longer you have to find a voice, a style and refine your writing skills. You have already experienced it since you say you have seen growth and accomplishment. I am not a novel or poetry writer. I like academic writing. I provides a clear framework... language may need simplifying though!!
My day is divided between writing, working 8 hours a day, spending time with my cat... and my husband, and, most importantly, with myself. But it's flexible, of course. Your development is not a competition with others. Your achievements are your own. If they happen to contribute something to others, it's a bonus! I sleep vey little becasue I always have, but if you need 8 hours to function, make sure you get your 8 hours. Pushing yourself of course, but not at the detriment of your health and well being. Food, sleep and fun are needed! Push yourself through your choice of reading/research, getting a bit more challenging each time. It's really the quality that matters. I think if you commit to your reading, your research, remove distractions (no phone, no TV or radio) that is one way to achieve quality.
If you are meant to write, you will write. Being a writer is not just publishing books. Substack or Medium are proof that you can write and reach people. There are communities of SMS novel or poetry.
I would just say: keep doing what you are doing, a bit better every day, and enjoy either the process or the outcome .. or both.
It is always worth it, even when one wants to walk away from it or take a break. The rewrites, the headaches—I imagine this is exactly what other artists feel about their art, and that is when I understand in lucidity. You are an artist, and everything you write has much more value than you, the most powerful critic of yourself, can see.
Very kind and very thoughtful of you
Just started writing on substack. I feel the same way. I was very hesitant and low on confidence. I know my knowledge is very limited. But something draws me to writing. Your post gives me a much needed boost and self confidence. Thank you.
Excellent Read Sir👍
Thanks you very much